Letter to Budding Roommates

Dear Roommates,

Right now you are probably at the peak of your excitement. You are leaving the nest and going at it on your own, and you’re on some Destiny’s Child “Independent Woman” type stuff. You are preparing to live a life of no rules, no one to hassle you, and NO CHORES. Here you are at this very moment... planning. You and your best friend are going to the same university, so naturally you have chosen her (and I say “her” because guys don’t typically go through this) to hold the honorable position of roommate. You ma’am have possibly made the worst decision for rooming arrangements that you could have ever imagined.

Here is why:

1. You Never Know Someone Until you Live with Them. Even though this is one of those cliché old sayings, it couldn’t be truer. Here’s the thing about best friends, in high school you see them from 8 am to 3 pm and on special occasions (weekends, parties, sleepovers, etc.). Unless some unfortunate circumstance occurs, like your parents abandoning you to go to Atlantic City for a week, normally you do not have to stay in the same room with your BFF for extended periods of time. This mean you haven’t grasped a holistic idea of their living habits, simply because everyone cleans (for the most part) before someone comes over and everyone changes after they get home and take their bras off.

1. Personalities Change after 9 o’ clock Being in someone’s face 24/7 can get really annoying REALLY fast. If you are not prepared to see someone all the time, it’s best not to share a room with them. When you get to college there is a lot of stress that makes you turn into the Hulk x 2. Rooming with someone that nags, isn’t clean, that doesn’t respect personal space, or that takes personal space too seriously can really push you over that edge. It’s probably best to deal with these problems with someone who isn’t your best friend.

1. Be the person they go to, not the one they run from Having your best friend in college is great, but if they are the reason behind most of your roommate drama then that’s no fun. The point of learning to room with people is to socialize and make new friends. If you are already in your comfort zone, it can get pretty repetitive and annoying. When your roommate does something annoying, you should be able to run across the hall or upstairs to your best friend’s room and lay your burdens out on her bed.

1. If you know she’s no good for you... This pertains to apartment rooming (and also is relatable to males). Getting an apartment is a huge responsibility that should be taken seriously. An apartment should be a fun space for you to practice getting into independent living and upkeep of your own space. You know your best friend and you know how responsible they are. If you know that little Timmy/Sally can’t keep a job or doesn’t know how to prioritize their funds, then they are not suitable to be a roommate. If little Billy Joe/Anna Mae doesn’t own a car and would have to hitch a ride from you every day to get to school or work then they are NOT a suitable roommate. And lastly if little BonQuiQui/DeShawn can never return things once borrowed or doesn’t understand the concept of “shared space equals mutual respect” then THEY ARE NOT A SUITABLE ROOMMATE!!!

1. BFFs can become Ex’s too!! Nuff Said, just know it can happen.

All of this to say, choose your roommate wisely. While rooming with your best friend may seem ideal (for the obvious reason: they know you), it stunts both of your social development. Take time to grow and realize that you need each other. You will both come to realize that your past roommates almost caused you to become less of a fulltime college student and more of a potential fulltime serial killer. It is then that you would have matured and figured out what you want in a roommate and it most likely will be your best friend. Give each other space and watch how your friendship flourishes!

Flourish on Young Ones,

Your College Guru!