Under Attack

Atlanta, the capital of Georgia, the birthplace of Lays, Chick-fil-a, and Coke (the drink or the drug pick your poison) don’t do drugs kids. The greatest city on the east coast (north of Miami, South of D.C) is seen as the center of the south. But Atlanta has been under siege since before I could look up porn on the internet. I noticed the attack when I was in the Metro-Atlanta area for a weekend and decided to stay at a hotel (because my Atlanta friends suck).

While in the elevator listening to the most generic jazz music in history, I was suddenly assaulted by a gang all dressed in the same colors. If you think I’m referring to a group of young African-American men then 1. You’re racist and 2. You’re naive, because they were something far worse…they were New Orleans Saints fans, decked out from head to toe in there black and gold filth.

Being the only mentally stable person inside the 27 square-foot box, I decided to make contact with the savages. I couldn’t understand everything (I was too busy trying not to be sacrificed to their pagan gods), but what I discovered is that these men (if you can call them that) were in fact from New Orleans but lived in Atlanta for the past the years, which astonished me. How could creatures from New Orleans (of all places between here and hell) live right under the noses of the Atlanta people for so long? So I decided to see what other aliens have crossed the border into this great (*cough* *cough*) city. I asked around, and everywhere I looked there was another immigrant, more and more, hundreds upon hundreds, thousands upon thousands. They were everywhere, in the taxis and bus stops, the office buildings and strip clubs, the malls and the trap houses, even in the gas stations. These aliens had been infiltrating Atlanta for decades, invading the city without raising a single alarm.

I was frightened yet awe-struck at the foreigner’s ability to pull of such an amazing strategy. By the time I had come to grips with this information it was too late, there were too many to fight. Atlanta had been overrun with barbarians. The fact that Atlanta had fallen to the invaders still haunts me, but I don’t intend to sit around while it happens. In fact, I plan to sit on my couch with my Steelers jersey on, eating my NY style pizza, and cheer on them Reggae boys (what Jamaicans call their soccer team) as they take Mexico to town. One day, Atlanta will be whole again, but fortunately for us everywhere else in this world is better.

Disclaimer: The observations and opinions made on this post do not reflect the values and beliefs of InsideDormWalls but only David's and David's alone. Please be aware that all comments said in this post are of humor and are not meant to offend anyone... and if you can't get with that I got two words for ya: SUCK IT!!